We spent the day together today for Valentine's. We meditated last night. We read this morning. You wrote a blog post. We started watching Valentine's day 🙄lol. I was actually quite enjoying it. We took you to the physio and you seemed so little and fragile. This scared me.
We laughed about pushing you around in a wheel chair if it gets that bad. I promise I will push you around and take you wherever you want to go. Although if it comes to wiping your bum mum,I dunno about that. (Of course I will) Â
We had a laugh about these things. We do laugh. About how you want glitter in your ashes and to be spread somewhere exotic. How I'd have to buy the urn a bloody plane ticket. That seems mental. It seems mental that we find humour in these moments or that our days can go without tears. I don't know if we are just in denial or just in "life" Â
The mundane things. The normal things. The laughing at weird things. It all feels special and true and real. Real connections. Whether its right or "wrong" Which it can't be. To just feel so connected to you by something so damming and so treacherous it can tear us apart.
But I know we won't let it. No matter if we are not connected by form or this life time. Our love couldnt be any stronger. Â
I worry about you. I worry about me. I worry about how the family wont be the family without you. I worry about having kids without you. So I pray. For me,for you, for us that we get time. That we get miracles. That we get healing and contentment and peace and love and a future.
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We accept you cancer (for now) but you cannot stay for long. Â
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