I have 3 unfinished posts in Drafts written ages ago but still not ready to hit 'publish' - I don't understand either??
But I have to share my feelings after reading my Darling Girl's post about our Spice Girls Adventure! Yes 56 years old and I love 'em! Don't care they're not the best singers, cos they were THE Best Self Love Advocates of their time and still are! Danni's and my shared love of them - deepened our love for each other, and during a teenage girl's often tumultuous relationship with her mother, that was such a plus!
We'd already been lucky to see the Girls, when they did their first reunion tour years after the teens had been left behind and we'd come out the other side 'unscathed' (Danni was a far nicer teenager than I ever was!) So we knew if they ever reunited again we would definitely share the experience again!
So fast forward to present day, being giving tickets to go see them, as a thank you for the part I played in Danni & J's wedding (it was a total honour, how many mums actually get to perform the ceremony and marry their daughter to their chosen groom!) was so fantastic but secretly marred by the fact I was waiting to get the test results back that would confirm the shocking news that I did have Stage 4 Lung Cancer as suspected! At that time, the concert seemed an age away, and the Drama Queen that lives within me, with hand on brow, wondered would I still be here then? As time has gone on it became a real anxiety for me - of course I was gonna still be here but would I be well enough to go? As the date got closer my angst got worse, timing is everything in the cycle of chemo but it's such a roulette as to how you're gonna feel - every time is different! I HAD to go no matter what but what if I felt awful? I sooo wanted to enjoy, relish and savour every moment, not be there white knuckling it, praying for it to end asap!
But the day dawned, my eyelash extensions looked good, Danni had beautified me, put rose gold colour in my hair, which meant so much because I really wanted to feel my 'best' for my Biggest Nite out since Danni's wedding 6 months previous! Since then, most of the time I go round in leggings, baggy top, no make-up or jewellery with uncombed & unwashed hair (it's thinned a lot since treatment so I try to preserve it any way possible). And do you know, even though things weren't perfect - I didn't get to wear my rose gold sequinned skirt as planned, as it turned cold I couldn't brave getting my grey legs out, my hair was thinner but it was pink and my face glitter was mainly hidden behind my hair - aaah! But I was alive and felt fabulous - and was one of 70,000 fans singing along to 'Mama', but sharing that moment with My Person - my favourite human being in the whole world - Danielle, my Daughter - who's making my Cancer Journey not only endurable but enjoyable and sharing extraordinary emotions and experiences, all for us to savour and relive again and again Viva Forever & ever! THANK YOU MY ANGEL x
Bucket List well and truly ticked!!
